HELLO EVERYBODY, AUNTY STELLA IS HERE AGAIN!!

 

Marriage is a fulfillment of God’s command. Marriage is fun but it all depends on your dream and expectation before you allow the slip on of the ring.

Before you ask Aunty Stella, ask yourself too what really you want in marriage. Am I within that web of love and commitment to the vows or have I stepped out? Then, do the turn around. It is possible!!!!

 

Dear Aunty Stella,

I need help. We are just two years in marriage, my wife is not employed yet and we do not have any child.

I get home from work and she is sulking, there is no food and the house is not maintained. I have tried to talk to her but she has remained adamant. She insists that so long as she is not working, the status quo remains. She is driving me out of her arms and our home. I do not like it but as it is, I have no choice.

Mr Sowunmi.

I really empathize with you. In marriage, there are various challenges at different stages. It could be early in the marriage, midway or later. However, It is part of the early challenges in marriage particularly when one party is bored sitting at home. That was not the dream. Running away from the home will not solve the problem. Show more love, understanding and be patient. Work hard towards getting your wife a job, find time to take her out from time to time, look beyond the present condition, for all will be well. For your children, as soon as your mind is at peace, the babies will start to come.

 

 

Dear Aunty Stella,

My wife of five (5) years keeps saying maybe I am not the right man for her. I don’t know why she says it? I play my part as husband and father, which I suppose she appreciates. The only thing I know here is that she has friends whose husbands take them all over the world. I have been and will continue to try my best to make them happy. Please help me.

Mr Adejaiye

Did you people court before your marriage? Did you give her a wrong impression of yourself? These are normal issues that arise when people pretend when they are courting. If that was what happened, this is the time to repair this situation. Have a heart to heart discussion with her and let her know what you can do and what you cannot do.

Five years seems enough time for both of you to have started showing sincerity.

You might also be assuming this is the reason why she makes that comment. Maybe this is a part of you that she is just discovering. Let this be the first step you are taking to resolve this matter. Be patient and do all you can to get her to talk with you.

 

 

Dear Aunty Stella,

I really need help. I have been married for 8 years to a muslim. I am a Christian. Before marriage, he promised that he would change his religion to mine (Christianity). He joined me at fellowships and we wedded in the Church. He was a good Christian boy till after our honeymoon. Then I started noticing signs of backsliding. I tried on several occasions to discuss it, but he was not prepared to talk about it. We have three children and the latest instruction is that I should no longer take our Children to Church. On Sundays, we are at home, on Fridays, we are at home too. I am losing it, please help me.

Mrs Iwendi.

As a Christian you should know what the Bible says about being unevenly yoked with unbelievers. He was only acting and you fell for it. No woman should ever imagine that she can change a man. He acted that script to get you into marriage. That marriage has been built on a faulty foundation.

I would advise that you discuss the matter with the Pastor of the Church you were both attending. The Bible talks about submitting to one another in love. He saw some good qualities in you, so help him get back to Christ but do not abandon your faith.

HELLO EVERYBODY, AUNTY STELLA IS HERE AGAIN !!!

 Hope the first set of issues that touch the heart ministered to you. Did they help you?  Thank God you are looking out for me! Wow! “Ask Aunty Stella”. My mission is to bring joy to families!

A teenage girl needed my help. She said she was scared of disappointing her parents. In the course of our discussion, I noticed that their expectations were so high, so high in terms of education, family responsibilities and spiritual life.

I asked her a lot of questions in the areas mentioned above and I was satisfied with her answers. A very organized and promising teenager but the daily threats, warnings from her parents were weakening her self-confidence.   The danger is that once you have punctured the confidence level of a child, you have killed the destiny of that child. I helped her bounce back with that strong confidence that says, “I can do it, Yes I can”.

Parents, I know we love our children, we want the best for them to end up badly. To guard against it, we, parents raise the banner. Please let us be careful, so we do not end up destroying them unintentionally. Set them on the right track, pray for them, encourage them and clap for them as they progress. No child is useless, the turnaround could come at any stage. Please support the children!

                      

 

A parent cried out to me – my daughter is finding it difficult in her new school and her teacher says she is not intelligent.

I advised them to give me some time with the child. I also explained to them that children have been out of school because of covid, and for a new student who just met her teacher, classmates and with all the covid precautions, it would be a bit tough for an 8-year-old child to settle down. However, it was destructive for a teacher to refer to her student as unintelligent.

When I met the young girl, the first question I asked her was, ”Are you intelligent?” She immediately replied, “No”, I asked why she said so, she said, because her teacher said so. I then asked a follow up question, “do you love your teacher?” Her face dropped, then she said, “yes”.

I gave her an essay to write on “My class teacher”. She wrote a beautiful essay, but it revealed a destructive teacher, “my teacher likes only intelligent children, but she beats me because I am not intelligent”. I secretly wept when I read the essay.

First, I had to change that mindset that she was not intelligent. She is a Christian, so I also gave her a bible passage to memorize and say all the time especially when she encountered challenges. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”, Philippians 4:13. I also found out her weak subjects and got a caring and motherly teacher to take her on privately while I continued to rebuild her confidence by the power of God.

It all worked out and we, including her parents are thankful to God for our new, bold and very confident daughter.

Food for thought: Parents, will you support your daughter like this? Always listen to them, if you are too busy or not available, please get a trusted person to fill in for you.” That child must fulfill destiny in Jesus name”. That should be your watch word! 

 

 

A teenager in SS 2 had a bitter experience with her dad concerning her choice of career. Her father insisted that he was not going to sponsor her in the university if she did not do education. He had a school and his dream was to hand over his school to his daughter. She wanted to study law.

I asked her mother’s stand and she said, she did not say anything. I wanted to see him, she refused. I advised her to talk with any aunty or uncle her dad loved and respected. She tried without success.

Well, I explained to her that not all cases end up the way we expect or dream. She is very young, she wants to further her education, but her dad will not shift grounds. I made her understand that no knowledge was lost. If she were to study law in America, she would have done a first degree before proceeding to study law.

A teacher builds people all round and gets them ready for life. A Lawyer protects the rights of the people and gets them ready for a life that respects justice and fair play.

Moreover, she will be in charge of a thriving business even while studying law. I advised her to go ahead and do education and after her youth service, take over her dad’s business like he promised and then go ahead to train herself as a lawyer.

This went down well with her and I am still monitoring her.

Parents, that was a hard one! Please only guide and pray for the children, allow them to follow their passion. They will make you proud by God’s grace.

 

Introduction

 

There is so much going on in the society and the world at large. The bad and the good,

the unimaginable! Everybody is affected but who is most hit, the kids! The kids!! It might

sound strange we have to look out for them. We work, we struggle, we go after all the

money to give them the best in life. Let us pause and ask ourselves what happens when

the children are waiting.

Have we ever imagined what will happen when we bring in all the money and the child

is no longer there??? Food for thought!!

A counselor of a school once had a chat with a 13 year old girl in his school. He wanted

to know why she was always very sad whenever it was time to go on vacation.

It turned out that she is an only child. Her mum, a top banker, her dad, a very busy

business man. She had all the gadgets to keep her company but all the domestic staff,

all 5 of them were men. They took turns to abuse her. I leave the rest to your

imagination. I now leave the rest to your imagination.

I now ask, how come for 3 years, her mother/father did not even suspect the pain that

girl was going through. Did they ever look at the sad face of their daughter? Did they

notice the way she walked? All the signs passed them by?? Parents! Please pay

attention!!!

A student in a well-known private school at a seminar once asked a serious question.

She said she read somewhere on the internet that when a lady looses her virginity but

stays away from sex for a long time, her virginity will return. Wow!!

In my heart, I wondered where her mother was. I tried to encourage the girls to be close

and open to their mothers. Then a student raised her hand and asked “what if your mum

is not there for you, what do you do? Wow! Wow!!

Definitely, there must be at least one person within the family that a teenager can relate

with very well and open up to. If none, a well-respected friend of mum or the family. It is

always good to open up to someone so as to guard against errors. So I ask where are

our mothers?

Another child at 5 years told me her dad was dead. I was alarmed because I know her

dad travelled to the U.S. I told her not to say that again because her dad is alive. The

little girl shouted, “but he is not here”! It turned out that she was not part of this whole

relocation at all and she missed his physical presence. Maybe her parents felt she was

too young to be carried along but that hurt her badly. I explained to her the situation out

there, her dad’s love for the family and his strong desire to give them a beautiful life.

The children are hurting but are not speaking up! Another food for thought.

A 6 year old child once told her mother did not love her and she shouts a lot. There was

fear and really no mother/daughter relationship or love. When I invited her, it took her

mum almost a month to respond. That, I also corrected this delay.

It turned out that the girl (let me call her girl A) had a group of friends in school and in

that group, there was a girl who kept telling them not to mind their parents especially

when they claimed that they loved them. According to her, their parents were deceiving

them. When the mother of Girl A noticed her daughter’s attitude, she investigated and

found out that she had a bad friend. She tried to separate them but did not bother to

explain to Girl A, her findings. So Girl A believed her friend and resisted her mum.

I talked with Girl A and also advised her mum to sit her down and explain the situation

which she did. I did not need any feedback because it was written all over Girl A that all

was well at home. Communication is key, no matter the age.

So what happened to the boys day out with dad or the girls day out with mum? Very

memorable times where we get to gist like friends and get real information from our

children. Everybody is busy!!!!! The children need us.

Aunty Stella is so passionate about children including Teens. Together, we can make

them better. Pls ASK AUNTY STELLA for help and get your family laughing again!!